What is more interesting is how people find my site. Actually only one search was interesting. Someone found my blog by searching “is shane of today i was pompous gay.” I cracked up when I read that. There are two possible explanations for this search. Someone who knows me, my website, and how blogger works performed this search so that it would show up in my stats. If this is what happened, well done my friend. I laughed heartily when I read that. Though if you are the same person who searched “shane samples is first class and pompous,” you should have given up on comedy after the first attempt.
The other option is that the searcher really wanted to know the answer to the question. I just skimmed through the history of my blog to see if I could find the answer. The only pictures of me are from the church retreat. They are all action shots so it is hard to tell just how bad I dress. Trust me that anyone who has seen my wardrobe would not have questions about my sexuality. I wrote a love letter to Natalie Portman after seeing Black Swan. That is all the evidence that I could find to prove I am straight. But I found even less evidence for being gay. I promised to write about my love for Joss Whedon, but I have only mentioned him in passing since then. Surprisingly I have not blogged about my man crush on Jon Stewart. The only post that I have found that proves I am gay is the photo of my dining room table. That photo is so close up, that you can’t even tell that it is a nice enough table to be owned by a gay man.
I could not find enough conclusive evidence on my blog to prove one way or the other. I guess you will just have to keep reading to find out the answer.
There is a 7:33 montage from this episode on youtube, but I could not get it to load on here.
I liked seeing this after all the Seinfeld references I was making the last few times I saw you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so trending this phrase #seinfeld
ReplyDeleteI believe the person behind the search may be a comic genius in hiding and a person who does not care one way or the other about a person’s sexuality, but values the person. They are someone who would rather see their friends shine because their friends place a high value on being funny and being the funniest or second funniest person in the room in very important to them. Additionally, I do not feel the person who did the first search did the second search.
ReplyDeleteAnyway with all of that out of the way, I contacted my expert on all things non straight Nikko (if I have no experience in a particular area I find an expert who can give me an informed opinion). Nikko is the Queen of New York. I ask Nikko if he would do a straight/non straight audit of your blog spot. So the question is is Pompous more Queen than King?
So Nikko put on his favorite tiara (a gift from Elizabeth Taylor) and got his favorite wand (make from Joan Crawford’s wire hangers) out of the closet and went to your blog spot. He sprinkled his magic fairy dust over the computer while reading your blogs. What follows are Nikko’s thoughts and opinions about whether Pompous is straight or non straight.
Your first point about your how badly you dress as a point for being straight is incorrect. Nikko said not all non straight men are Chelsea boys. Nikko said “James Dean was one of the biggest non straight men in America and his favorite outfit was a t-shirt and jeans”. You dress this way more times than not. Additionally, I did mention your love of the color purple and that purple is also your mother’s favorite color. Purple is the color of Non Straight Pride. Nikko’s score: 1 non straight point for Pompous.
Your second point for straightness was your love letter to Natalie Portman. After reading the blog love letter to Natalie, Nikko said “Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Madonna, Marilyn Monroe, and Judy Garland received a ton of love letters from men, Non Straight Men that is”. Additionally, you wrote a blog love letter to an actress for the film, “Black Swan”. The film is based on a fairy tale and is about the world of ballet. Not exactly America’s favorite pastime for a straight man. Nikko’s score: 1 non straight point for Pompous.
At this point, it seems that Pompous is more queen than king with two non straight points and no straight points. Next Nikko looked at your points for being non straight.
You mentioned your love for Joss Whedon and your man crush on Jon Stewart. Nikko said only non straight women have a thing for Joss Whedon. Non straight men are not interested in Josh Whedon. Joss Whedon appeals to the nerd in the Straight men
ReplyDeleteAlso, no self respecting non straight man would have a man crush on Jon Stewart. He is not the type of man that non straight men have crushes on and you used the term man crush which a non straight man would not use. Nikko’s score: 1 straight point for Pompous.
Your next point for being non straight was your dining room table. Having seen the table in real life, I was able to find a photo of the table on line for Nikko to review. While Nikko said it was a nice table no self respecting non straight man would be caught dead with that table. I pointed out you picked it out by yourself and it was a very nice table. Still Nikko said it was not a non straight man’s table.
I was still trying to defend the table for you when I pointed out you are from Kentucky and make less than $100,000 a year. Nikko’s response was “Non straight men do not do budgets for dining room tables”. Nikko’s score: 1 straight point for Pompous.
At this point, Pompous has 2 non straight points and 2 straight points. So Pompous is neither Queen nor King.
Nikko’s last test for your straightness or non straightness was your blog subjects and your blog titles. Is Pompous more Oscar Wilde or Ernest Hemingway?
After reading all your blogs posts, here are Nikko’s conclusions.
The subjects you write about in your blogs with the exception of “Not That There Is Anything Wrong With That” and “Don’t Count Your Swans Before They Hatch” are more sports, comics, and games related. The topic points to Pompous being more Hemingway than Wilde. So Nikko gives Pompous one straight point.
Then Nikko reviewed your topic names for each blog entry. This is where Pompous became more Wilde than Hemingway. The blog entries named up above are just two examples of more Wilde than Hemingway. Other fine examples are Flix on the Net, Thirty-Six Times The Charm and the list could go on and on. So, Pompous appears to be quick with a quip. Nikko’s score is one non-straight point.
What is the final tally? Pompous has three straight points and three non-straight points. Nikko’s conclusion is that Pompous is neither straight nor non-straight. Pompous is just Pompous.