Put That Out

I don't usually pay any attention to movie ratings.  Though sometimes when the rating appears on the screen, I will read the reasons behind the rating.  I watched Midnight in Paris this weekend and was surprised by the reason for its PG-13 rating.  Some sexual references and smoking were what earned this movie the PG-13.  Is smoking so bad that you need to be thirteen to view it?

Glad That's Finally Over With

Sunday I watched the final Harry Potter movie.  Just like in the other movies, there were many occasions for sighs, groans, and throwing my hands in the air at the hatchet job done to this classic work of literature.  There were a few moments that the movie would almost get right, but then it would ruin the scene with some terrible rewrite.  Watching the movie was very frustrating.  There was one moment of brilliance however.  I don't remember the exact quote, but this will be good enough for you.

Ellen said, "I have something to say, but it's not about Harry Potter."

Shane replied, "That's okay.  This movie's not about Harry Potter either."

That exchange sums up the whole movie watching experience.  The only enjoyment that I got watching this movie was from making fun of it.  Now that I have seen all eight movies, I can spend the rest of my life pretending that they were never made.

How To Lose 10 Pounds in 1 Day

Anyone who has seen me in the last two weeks will be delighted to know that I cut off that mess of hair.  There might not have actually been ten pounds, but I couldn't run and jump over the pile of hair that I swept up afterwards.  I would have taken before and after photos, but when I got out of the shower this morning, I had my hair combed back in a very non-photogenic style.

I also trimmed those wild onions that provided such a convenient handle last weekend.  I will have to remember to keep my beard short whenever there are eight year olds around.

Go Racers

I have been meaning to write this post for a while.  I should have written about the Racers after they won the Great Alaska Shootout at Thanksgiving, or in December when they beat the #20 ranked Tigers at Memphis.  I wasn't blogging much at that time, so I kept putting it off.  The undefeated season has reached the point where I am afraid that writing about the team will jinx them.  Of course, there has been enough written by others that one more won't ruin the season.

I thought that the undefeated season was going to end on Wednesday.  Murray had lost at Morehead three years in a row, mostly because of Kenneth Faried, who is now a Denver Nugget.  When the Eagles took an early 7-2 lead, I had a feeling that the winning streak was about to end.  I had planned to go to church after watching the first few minutes of the game, but the Racers started so poorly that I had to stay home to watch the loss.  I am ashamed to say that it was the third time this season that I have skipped church to watch the game.  Morehead stretched their lead to eleven, while Murray was falling apart offensively.  Eventually the Racers stopped turning the ball over and hit a few shots.  If not for Drew Kelly getting in foul trouble, Morehead would have won the game.

Murray has had a one dimensional offense since Ivan Aska broke his hand five games ago.  Without him, the Racers don't have anyone on the team with a post up game.  The other bigs are just garbage men.  Thankfully we have some really good guards.  Isaiah Canaan and Donte Poole have raised their combined scoring average from 30.4 to 40.8 during Aska's absence.  I hope his hand is heals soon, otherwise that first loss will come sooner rather than later.

Murray State is ranked #12 in the AP and #10 in the Coaches Poll.  This is the first time they have been ranked since 1998 and the highest since being ranked #16 twice in the 1950's.  Even if we keep winning, I think #10 is our ceiling.  The Racers are not the tenth best team in the nation especially without Aska.  We don't have enough size or depth.  I believe that voters are ranking us that high because it is a good story and because they are tired of the same teams being ranked every year.  I know if it was me, I would rather rank an undefeated team from a one bid conference than the sixth best Big East team.

Eventually the Racers will lose a game.  It could happen tonight in Edwardsville.  When they lose, Murray will drop at least ten spots in the polls.  This is basketball, not football, so the polls don't mean all that much.  The tournament selection committee doesn't pay much attention to polls when making out the tournament bracket.  They rely more on RPI, Rating Percentage Index.  This score is based on winning percentage, opponent's winning percentage, and opponent's opponent's winning percentage.  Murray State is currently ranked #29 in RPI.  One spot ahead of a six loss Memphis team that lost at home to the Racers.  These teams are ranked so close because Memphis has the ninth toughest schedule, while Murray State has the two hundred sixteenth.  The tournament expert at ESPN currently has MSU projected to be a seven seed in the tourney, which about where they are ranked in the RPI.

The big benefit of being ranked #10/#12 in the polls is the exposure the Racers are getting.  They are mentioned frequently on Sportscenter and the college basketball shows.  Tonight's game will be their third on ESPNU.  My hope is that all this will  lead to better recruits coming to play at Murray in the future.  I don't expect the Racers to become a national power over night, but 2010's win over Vanderbilt plus this year's possible undefeated national championship season could be the beginning of greatness at my alma mater.

On the Road Again

Once upon a time, I was driving home to Kentucky.  It was my third such trip in the past four weekends.  I am very tired of that road.  On my previous journeys Carolyn McCormick entertained me by recounting the deaths of nearly everyone in Panem.  This time I only had music to help keep me alert, unless you count my copilot who was busy playing spider solitaire on her laptop.

I don't remember the exact location, but some where on that fourteen mile stretch of 55 in Missouri, I saw a state trooper getting on the interstate.  It was a good thing that I was paying attention since he did not have his headlights on.  I moved over to the left lane, so that he had plenty of room for merging.  The lane change was unnecessary since he just parked there on the shoulder of the interstate.  About a mile further down the highway, a there was a trooper on the side of the road with his lights flashing parked behind some criminal.  I again moved over to the left lane leaving plenty of room for the trooper and his prey.  Approximately a mile further on, there was a third little piggy on the side of the road with his lights off waiting for law breakers.  For the third time courtesy got the better of me, and I moved over to the left lane.

I had just turned to my copilot to remarked on how well protected that stretch of interstate was, when I saw the flashing lights behind me.  My first instinct was to glance at the speedometer, but of course the cruise control was still set at sixty-nine.  I pulled over assuming that I had a tail light out.  Years ago I had been pulled over just a bit further down 55 because the lights around the license plate were out.  The cop said the reason that he pulled me over was because I had not signaled when changing lanes.

I think that it would have been difficult for him to see my left blinker while sitting on the right shoulder with a semi truck right in front of me.  I typically only let my blinker flash once when changing lanes, especially when there is no one behind me, as was the case last night.  Since he was only giving me a warning, I did not feel any need to argue.  Now if he had been following me on 40, he would have had plenty of excuse to pull me over.  There were about eighteen miles starting from Forrest City where I was weaving in and out of traffic with out using my blinker at all.  My hands were busy with a Blizzard, so I wasn't even steering with my hands.

The stop would have been enough of an annoyance if he had just warned me then sent me on my way.  Instead I had to get out of Betty and go sit in his car while he looked up my driving history.  He asked me several questions during that time.  I don't know if it was just small talk intended to put me at ease or an attempt to discover a more serious crime than failure to signal.  My instinct was to answer his questions with, "I don't think that's any of your business."  I knew this response would risk getting me a ticket instead of just a warning.  I've got more money than sense, so fear of a ticket wasn't what held my tongue.  I knew that answering his questions would be the fastest way to resume my travels, so I was polite and, much to his chagrin, he had to let me go.

I let my blinker flash several times before pulling back on the 55.  I can't be sure since it was night, but I think that the trooper pulled on to the interstate behind me.  I am a good enough driver that I was not worried about him following me, but my instincts, honed during my checkered past, forced me to try to keep an eye on him.  Highway U was only about a mile away.  When I took the exit, the car behind me did also.  That could have just been a coincidence, since that is a well known short cut to 155.  When I turned east onto 155, the car kept going and turned west onto 155.  That proves that it was the trooper because no one would take that route on purpose.

I must have seemed suspicious to him, since he followed me to make sure that I turned toward Kentucky, my stated destination.  I got the impression that he stopped me for not signaling just hoping that he could charge me with something worse.  Lucky for me, he did not open the truck and see the illegal immigrants that I was smuggling across state lines.

Happy Centennial

I will finish my first year here with 100 posts.  That is 1 every 3.65 days for those of you not good at math.  I would have reached this mark earlier except for my near total disappearance in November and December.  I scrolled through all the posts trying to pick out the best moments from the year.  Twas the Night Before Today was the unanimous choice for best post.  Another of my favorites was A Tale of Two Kickers.  Maybe all of my posts should be parodies of classic literature.

My hope when I started this blog was to become better at writing and at expressing my thoughts.  I don't think that I have actually accomplish that yet.  Given the quality of this week's post, I'm sure that I haven't.  I would like to write more about meaningful topics this next year, instead of the meaningless drivel that I usually dish out.

I thought that I would have more to say about this milestone, but I wasted much of the afternoon on the ps3.  Now I am finishing this post during half time of MSU @ APSU.  I owe you posts about the #18 team in the nation and the rebuilding Cubs.  I'll try to get those done this week.  

Bump

I'm writing this just to pad my stats.  This is my 99th post.  Tomorrow will be post number 100 in my first year here at Today I Was POMPOUS.  Now turn off your computer and watch the rest of the Cotton Bowl. Woooo Pig Sooie!

Oh Where is My Hairbrush?

A few weeks ago I nearly witnessed something that I thought could never happen.  Whenever there is one of those uncomfortable silences in a conversation, someone thinks of Abraham Lincoln.  If you don't believe me, just wait until the next lull, and it will be you.  I'm not good at holding up my side of the talking, so the best way to avoid thinking of the sixteenth president is to surround myself with people who don't allow air in the conversation.

When I"m with Ellen and Mac, I always assume that I am in a Lincoln free zone.  Separately they are conversation all-stars.  When united, they are an unstoppable flow of words.  That Wednesday last month when the unimaginable nearly happened, Mac reached into his reserve of topics and pulled out one that he had been saving for a rainy day.  I'm sure that he has a couple of dozen subjects that are just waiting for the chance to be discussed.  On that day, Mac asked about my favorite bald fictional character.  I mentioned some names off the top of my head but wasn't sure if I got it right.  Here is the list that I've come up with.

Honorable Mention - Larry the Cucumber. Created by Big Idea Entertainment.  I forgot about Larry until I came up with the name for this post.  The list was already made out, so I stuck him here in the HM section.

Honorable Mention - Evey Hammond.  Written by Alan Moore, drawn by David Lloyd, acted by Natalie Portman.  She is only bald for a short part of the story, but I couldn't leave Portman off the list.

Honorable Mention - Stone Cold Steve Austin.  I thought it would be funny to have a professional wrestler on the fictional characters list.  Austin might not actually be my favorite, but I haven't been able to remember one whom I like more.

10. Vic Mackey - Acted by Michael Chiklis.  The Shield is the story of a corrupt cop.  It is surprising that such an amoral character is so likable.  Though when he gets what he deserves, you don't fell sorry for him.

9. The Dark Lord - Written by JK Rowling, acted by Ralph Fiennes, voiced by Jim Dale.   He Who Must Not Be Named is only on this list because without him as the villain there is no Harry Potter series.

8. Keith Mars - Acted by Enrico Colantoni.  It can't be easy being a single father to the world's best teenage detective.

7. Kingsley Shacklebolt - Written by JK Rowling, acted by George Harris, voiced by Jim Dale.  As I am writing this, I can't remember if house elves have hair.  Maybe Kreacher should be on this list.

6. The Master - Created by Joss Whedon, acted by Mark Metcalf.  He isn't my favorite vampire or my favorite Buffy villain, but definitely my favorite bald person in both categories.

5. Tie.  George Bluth Sr. and Tobias Funke - Acted by Jeffrey Tambor and David Cross.  Funniest show ever.

4. Homer Simpson - Created by Matt Groening, voiced by Dan Castellaneta.  Uncle Homer is the funniest fictional bald character in our family.  Papa is the funniest bald nonfictional character, and Pointer is the funniest fictional nonbald character.

3. Charles Xavier - Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, acted by Patrick Stewart.  I am not a big fan of telepaths in general.  They are so much more powerful than everyone else that it is hard to write them well.  But he deserves to be on here for founding the X-Men.

2. Charles Gunn - Created by Joss Whedon, acted by J August Richards.  I loved Gunn even before I knew that Richards and I were born on the same day.

1. Benjamin J Grimm, the Ever-Lovin Blue-Eyed Thing - Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, acted by Michael Chiklis.  In the movie Chiklis plays Grimm as bald, but in real life he has hair.  However the Thing is as bald as a rock.

And In This Corner

I have always been taught that plastic things have to go in the top rack of the dishwasher.  I don't know if this is still true or if dishwasher or plastic technology have advanced to the point of bottom shelf capability.  Last week when I had a top shelf full of plastic ware, I put a glass on the bottom rack dangerously close to a glass 9x13.  It may just be because I have been reading The Hunger Games, but I imagined this as a battle to the death scenario.  The odds were clearly in the favor of the 9x13.

  If were are a betting person, you clearly should have gone with the favorite.  And if you are a person who would bet on this, you definitely have a gambling problem.

Finally Over

Here it is.  The moment that you have been waiting for, my final fantasy football post of the season.  My teams finished 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 14th.  This is my third year with five teams.  I won two titles each of the past two years.  It is no fun having this many teams and no championship.

The Neptune Pirates lost the championship game by just over two points.  I was trying to become the first back to back champion and first four time winner in the eleven year history of the league.  I traded for Calvin Johnson in midseason giving me a third choice for next season's keepers along with Arian Foster and Adrian Peterson.  Peterson has spent his entire five year career with the Pirates (or whatever my teams were named those years), but his season ending knee injury puts his return in jeopardy.

John Brown entered the playoffs on an eleven game winning streak but was easily dispatched by the fourth seed.  JB had a surprisingly good season despite season ending injuries to Jamaal Charles, Matt Schaub, Javid Best, and Greg Jennings.  Hopefully these guys will all be back healthy next season since I get to keep most of the players on this team.

The Danville Platypi were going for a three-peat, but without first round draft pick Jamaal Charles they could not compete with the top two teams in the league.  Congrats to the Bluth Frozen Bananas for their first boy league championship.

4th and Long had their best finish ever.  After four seasons, all in the consolation bracket, I hope that I can finally break into the winner's bracket next year.

Packers Repeat were my third team that lost Jamaal Charles for the season.  In a sixteen team league the talent was spread too thin for me to recover from that injury when my other running backs, Amhad Bradshaw and Matt Forte, also were injured.  I lost eight in a row thanks to those injuries.

NCAA Violations finished in the 92.3 percentile of the College Football Challenge.  Good enough for 6th place at the post office.

Streakers finished in the 95.6 percentile of the Gridiron Challenge.  Good enough for 5th place at the post office.