Building for the future

I have been meaning to write about baseball trades for a week or more, but it has also been trade deadline season for the Playstation Cubs. I am a much better gm than the computer, so my team is greatly improved. It remains to be seen if the real life Cubs have improved. Several Cubs were being mentioned as trade candidates today, but I think their pricetags were too high.

We did make several moves earlier in the month. Garza, Feldman, Marmol, Harriston, and Soriano have all been traded. Mike Olt is the biggest name prospect to join the club. I was pretty excited until I read that he has been having vision problems lingering from a concussion last season. Hopefully that is behind him, and he can hit like he has in the past. I think everyone else who came over were pitchers, most of them still years away from the majors.

In his six seasons before Chicago, Soriano had 5 90 rbi seasons, 4 100 run seasons, and 4 30/30 seasons, one of them a 40/40. He should have made the Cubs into perennial contenders. They did win the division his first two seasons before being swept out of the playoffs, but otherwise it was a disappointing injury plagued career at Wrigley. I had given up on Soriano ever being traded. His huge contract made him impossible to move. The Cubs will still have to pay 18 of the 25 million left on his contract, but at least we saved 7 mil and freed up some at bats for Junior Lake.

The Cubs are still at least another season away from being competitive. It doesn't help that division opponents St Louis, Pittsburgh, and Cincinnati are all really good. At least the team is in better shape than it was this time last year. As a Cubs fan, that is really all you can ask for.

Shane Van Winkle

I slept eight hours today and nearly ten yesterday. I didn't realize that I was so tired, but I must have been. So much sleep really cut into the time I usually spend doing nothing. I suspect that I will return to my usual six hours tomorrow.

Also, I saw Avengers again this weekend. Mac is cra cra for even suggesting that Man of Steel is in the same class of movie.

Preshum

Three most preshum ones
Sophie, Lenny, and Shadow
The three amigos

Introvert

I might read the book Quiet some day. I hear it is all about how great I am. But until I have time to read it, I'll just keep reading this comic. It's brilliant.

Comfort Food

I'm here all alone, while everyone else is having fun together. This is the only thing to get me through these last two days.

*note - The box is no longer this full.

I would not, could not with a goat

Best draw something ever!

Changing Names

It is nearing fantasy football season. A team's name is very important to the success of a team. This will be the fourth season for the Neptune Pirates. Their first three season all ended in top two regular season finishes with one championship, my league leading third championship in the eleven year history of the Chicken Wing League. The Danville Platypi have had two disappointing seasons in the Fumbling Idiots, but I think this year they can turn things around. John Brown has finished in third place twice in Reality Football but does not have a traditional football team name. So it's time for a change. My newest obsession since the last time I needed a name change is Avatar the Last Airbender. I considered the Blind Bandits, but instead chose the Bei Fong Winged Boars. I predict great things this season from house Bei Fong.

A Long Time Ago, We Used To Be Friends

I just finished watching Veronica Mars for the second time. It was great. It is probably the best father/daughter combo on tv ever. Imagine if Lorelai was a man and also solved crimes, and you would have Keith Mars. If you hate rich people, this is the perfect show for you.

The guest star lineup is outstanding. Paul Rudd, Kevin Smith, Joss Whedon, Everyone's favorite landlord, Logan Huntzberger, Ben Wyatt, the Todd, Quinn Fabray, George Michael Bluth, and Maybe Funke. Plus reoccurring characters played by Harry Hamlin, Lisa Rinna, Steve Guttenberg, Cosette, Schmidt, Stan Sitwell, Cordelia Chase, and Willow Rosenberg. The regular cast didn't go on to fame, but they are really good.

I highly recommend this show, and you need to watch it before the movie comes out next year.

I Was a Giant

Last week when Mac was reading my recap of game night, he rightly thought that I should go back and add more commentary to explain the inside jokes. I was surprised that not everyone there had heard this story. Apparently Mac and I have just been telling it back and forth to each other. Since I had already added a paragraph about Florida, I didn't want to make another change this late in the game. Plus, this story is good enough to stand on its own. Get it. Stand. Classic Shane.

One Sunday Ellen and I spent the afternoon in Beebe. When 5:00 rolled around, we joined the queue and headed off to church. As I sat down on the pew, I noticed there was a step stool underneath the pew in front of me. I don't know why they are there but the auditorium is full of them. I used to always call them kneeling benches, but I don't think that is their intended purpose. My first thought upon seeing it was that I must stand on it when it is time to sing. Unfortunately there was not a time of standing before the sermon. The anticipation of this sight gag was so great that I could barely pay attention to the sermon. If that was not distracting enough, I was sitting between two note passing poets.

Eventually the sermon ended and my moment came. I stood up taller than any person has a right to be. I kept a straight face for about half a second before Mac looked at me, and we both fell into laughter. I tried my hardest to sing, but all I could do was giggle like three giggling things. When I did finally compose myself a bit, I was extremely paranoid that everyone behind me in the auditorium was staring at my freakish height. The stool is only 4 1/2 inches, which put me around 6' 3", but I felt like the tallest person in the world. Seriously I don't know how you tall people can live with everyone being able to see you. It was nerve racking. And now you know, the rest of the story.

So the next time you read, "Have my step ready, Sight gag can't compete tonight, May need to fall down," you can take comfort in the fact that your funniest moment may still be ahead of you. Alas, I will never be able to top that joke.

Procrastination, Thy Name Is Shane

My other option for title was "Procrastination, What is it good for? Absolutely everything! Say it again!"

I last donated blood in February. Eight weeks later, I get a call from the Red Cross and schedule my next donation. Because of my strenuous job, I always donate on Saturday morning to give me the most possible time to recover before returning to work. Unfortunately I fell asleep that morning and missed my appointment. Over the next three months, I kept coming up with excuses not to bleed. Some of those excuses were legitimate. I was sick, on vacation, on pain medicine, or my Moma was in state. The other weeks, my reason for not going was usually just tiredness and laziness. Since my missed appointment, I've screened 26 calls from the Red Cross. I'm a bad person.

I started this morning, as I do most mornings, by falling asleep on the couch. I finally forced myself awake at eleven and was prepared to declare the day wasted after such a long nap. But because it had been three weeks since I last mowed the yard, I forced myself outside. Instead of mowing the whole yard, I just weedate the tall spots and left the brown spots for another day, ignoring the back yard entirely. That only took twenty minutes, so I considered washing that inch thick layer of grime off my car. I then remembered that if I waited a week, there would be another inch thick layer on Betty, this one being bug guts collected between here, Clinton, and back again. With nothing else left to avoid doing other than cleaning the house, I grudgingly crossed the river.

There was no line, and I've been hydrating like it's my job since January, so I expected to be in and out in quick fashion. However, the three nurses who took turns adjusting the needle never could get a steady blood flow. I don't think they got a full pint. But I had already written the haiku, so I tweeted it anyway.

Procrastination
For once, I have beaten you
I'm now a pint low

A New Leaf

I am going to attempt to revive this blog. But instead of writing deep, meaningful prose or genius, comic pieces, it will be more of a diary of what I have done or has been in my head recently. I'm gonna write things too long for facebook or too short for twitter.

Yesterday this country celebrated it's 2013th birthday. I actually read that several times on twitter. I hope they were joking.

Two signs that it was a holiday. There were fancy desserts, and I got a turn holding the baby. That second picture is a chocolate chip pan cookie under the flag.