One of my friends recently turned thirty. For the thirty days leading up to her big day, she asked Facebook trivia questions about herself. On her birthday she drew a name from everyone who answered a questioned right and gave out a prize to the winner. Obviously I can't plan something farty days in advance. So I'm asking farty questions here today. I'll give y'all a week or so to submit your answers.
We are operating on the honor system here. Don't read other peoples's answers before giving your own. If you don't trust your fellow commentors, email your answers to me. I'm sure I can think of a prize that is farty.
1. What time was I born?
2. What was the name of the road I lived on as a child?
3. When or where (year/event/location) did I first see Acappella?
4. What is my college degree?
5. When did I graduate from college (month and year)?
6. How long have I lived in Arkansas?
7. What is the date I bought my house (hint: it's someone's birthday)?
8. How long have I worked for the USPS? "It feels like forever," will get you partial credit.
9. Which finger did I break at work?
10. I used to be a terrible driver. How many cars have I totaled?
11. How many speeding tickets?
12. Speaking of cars, what's the name of my car?
13. What is my phone's name?
14. What is my favorite color?
15. What is my favorite food?
16. What is my favorite drink?
17. What is my favorite road trip food?
18. What is my favorite number?
19. What is my favorite video game?
20. What is my favorite tv show?
21. What is my favorite tv channel?
22. What is my favorite book?
23. What is my favorite holiday?
24. Who is my favorite baseball player?
25. Who is my favorite active baseball player?
26. How many Cubs games have I been to?
27. Who is my favorite Murray State Racer?
28. Who is my favorite comic book character?
29. What is my most valuable comic book?
30. How many comic books do I own?
31. Name either artist hanging on my living room wall.
32. If I could have any super power, what I would I choose?
33. What movie do I watch every March?
34. My latest obsession is Duck Dynasty. Who do I say is my favorite on the show?
35. Who is my actual favorite?
36. How many states have I been to?
37. How many planes have I been on?
38. Who am I afraid of?
39. Who appears most often on my MP3 player?
40. What's my favorite number to hear the Popster say?
As you all know, I am incapable of keeping a secret. So if you try trick me into giving away the answers, you will be disqualified.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there
With a lawnmower.
No wait. That wasn't State Farm. It was my actual good neighbor. Hold up, let me start this story over. Two weekends ago my yard needed mowing, but instead I spent the weekend in Clinton. Last Saturday when I went out to cut the already overgrown weeds, I mowed about a dozen feet before my mower died. For those of you keeping score this is the second time it has gone on the DL this season. I would have taken it to Dado the next day, but I had to get to Beebe early on Sunday to be there in time for potluck at church. My plan for today was to weedeat both the front and back, then mow on Monday just in time for Labor Day. When I finished with all the edges, I decided to chop down that tallest section of weeds in front of the house. Before I finished, but not before I was tired of weeding, my neighbor walked across the street and offered me the use of his mower. I graciously accepted. I only mowed the front not wanting to risk someone else's mower on the rock garden out back. Plus I had already spent two hours outside and was worried I might have gotten too much sun.
I had planned to get more done today, but as you can see, I am at my comp puter writing and watching baseball. There is still a chance that after Dado works his magic, I'll finish mowing on Monday or maybe Thursday. But it's just the back yard, and no one goes out there except the neighbor's dog. Not the good neighbor, the one with two barking dogs. There's a big difference.
No wait. That wasn't State Farm. It was my actual good neighbor. Hold up, let me start this story over. Two weekends ago my yard needed mowing, but instead I spent the weekend in Clinton. Last Saturday when I went out to cut the already overgrown weeds, I mowed about a dozen feet before my mower died. For those of you keeping score this is the second time it has gone on the DL this season. I would have taken it to Dado the next day, but I had to get to Beebe early on Sunday to be there in time for potluck at church. My plan for today was to weedeat both the front and back, then mow on Monday just in time for Labor Day. When I finished with all the edges, I decided to chop down that tallest section of weeds in front of the house. Before I finished, but not before I was tired of weeding, my neighbor walked across the street and offered me the use of his mower. I graciously accepted. I only mowed the front not wanting to risk someone else's mower on the rock garden out back. Plus I had already spent two hours outside and was worried I might have gotten too much sun.
I had planned to get more done today, but as you can see, I am at my comp puter writing and watching baseball. There is still a chance that after Dado works his magic, I'll finish mowing on Monday or maybe Thursday. But it's just the back yard, and no one goes out there except the neighbor's dog. Not the good neighbor, the one with two barking dogs. There's a big difference.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Manic Monday
I spent half of my life on Monday ironing curtains. It may sound like a exaggeration, but if anything 20 years is an underestimation of how long it took. I hope all that work was worth the effort. The morning sun has turned my living room into the red light district. The dark curtains in Michelle's room make the room as black as my heart. I've seen both those rooms curtained before, so it's not that big a change. The curtains in my bedroom completely change the look of the room. I barely recognize it now. I've not taken any photos, so you'll have to wait and see it next weekend.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Gluttony
There is an urban legend of a dad who catches his son smoking and forces him to smoke until he gets sick. This is supposed to make the child never want to smoke again. I have done this to myself this weekend. Not with cigarettes, but with food.
Over eating is my default setting, but I think I may have gone above and beyond on Monday. It was one of those days when it seemed like throwing up would actually make me feel better. When I got to work, I wanted to die. Dying would have solved two of my problems. I would no longer feel sick, and I would not have to read The Enchantress.
For the last couple of months, I have been reading the poorly written Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. The story is very repetitive, and I am indifferent to or hate all the main characters. I have continued reading through five books because the premise of the story is interesting, and I like the supporting cast. However, with the surprise twist ending of The Warlock, the series has jumped the shark. It makes me want to renounce pacifism just long enough to punch Michael Scarn in the throat.
I hope that when I die of gluttation, I will lose my memory of Nicholas Flamel.
Over eating is my default setting, but I think I may have gone above and beyond on Monday. It was one of those days when it seemed like throwing up would actually make me feel better. When I got to work, I wanted to die. Dying would have solved two of my problems. I would no longer feel sick, and I would not have to read The Enchantress.
For the last couple of months, I have been reading the poorly written Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. The story is very repetitive, and I am indifferent to or hate all the main characters. I have continued reading through five books because the premise of the story is interesting, and I like the supporting cast. However, with the surprise twist ending of The Warlock, the series has jumped the shark. It makes me want to renounce pacifism just long enough to punch Michael Scarn in the throat.
I hope that when I die of gluttation, I will lose my memory of Nicholas Flamel.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Pompous Circumstances
Congratulations to my shishter for graduating from the internet. Though, I'm not really sure how one does that. I suppose that they will just email her a diploma pdf. Or maybe a cat meme.
If she wants to walk at the graduation ceremony, it will have to be as a gif. Like this, but with her face photo shopped into it.
Here's a poem to celebrate her accomplishment.
Graduation day
What's coming up next for you?
Eviction notice
In the tradition of her former grandeur, here are my five favorite things about graduation.
1. I no longer have to play the bad guy and force her to do her homework.
2. I am now less likely to get way behind on television, but I might have to sit through a SYTYCD marathon soon.
3. I might get a home cooked meal for often now. Though, for the last month or so, she has been cooking more.
4. I will finally have an assistant available to help hang those curtains.
5. Becoming a librarian should bring a raise. However much of a raise she gets, I'm raising rent the same percentage. Bwahaha!
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