Role Reversal

People seemed to be interested in my sleeping habits, or it may just an easy topic for conversation. Like when Susan used to ask Will a question about his work, then thirty minutes later, he's still talking, and everyone is looking for razor blades or tying their shoe laces in nooses. But I'll take a chance and tell you anyway.

Saturday I slept from midnight to 5:30. I try to get at least six hours and wanted to sleep longer that day, but I couldn't fall back asleep. That's usually enough sleep to get me through, but this day I was exhausted. I was dozing off while watching tv and really wanted to go to bed before 7:30. Eventually I gave up the fight and took a nap. Even the World Series wasn't a good enough draw to keep me awake. Once when I woke up, this conversation happened.

Ellen "You're missing a good game. Too bad you don't like baseball as much as me."

Shane "Too bad you don't like sleep as much as me."

Ellen "I'm gonna tweet that." (I always tell her that I already tweeted things when she tells me not to repeat them. Ellen doesn't tweet.)

Shane "#FreakyFriday" (I didn't actually say hashtag, but this is the Mac version of the story.)

That conversation was enough to wake me up, and I got to see the crazy ending of the ballgame. As I write this out, I realize that it loses quite a bit in the retelling. But I have to post it, cause it's already written and cause people commit suicide during Will's stories.

Drama Drama Drama Anecdote From Work

My last post was more serious than my typical post. So I have been reluctant to follow it up with something frivolous. It's only been five days since that last post, but I wrote it a week before it was published. So it's actually been nearly two weeks since I've written anything, though that's not a personal record. I decided to write today whether I had anything so say or not, and it would have looked much like this paragraph. But then there was Drama at work this morning.

ps. If you're not pronouncing Drama right, you're missing half the fun of this post.

In an effort to protect the innocent, who is me, I will use pseudonyms for the people involved. The incident involved a woman and a man, so I'll call them Traci<3 and Tracii. Actually, that might be too confusing, and I don't have the heart font. I'll just call them she and he.

I was on the dock and heard an argument behind me. As his voice got louder, I turned to watch. They were standing face to face, and her back was toward me. So I could hear his side of the argument but not hers. By face to face I mean they were close enough that I hoped that neither spit when they talked. Only being able to hear one side, I thought that it was a very silly and childish thing to argue about. As I watched, I began to worry about what I should do if he hit her, because he seemed mad enough. Then he abruptly turned and walked away.

I was glad that nothing more happened but was disappointed that I didn't have a better story. Later my supervisor told me that I would have to write a statement of what I saw. I was a bit nervous since I didn't know if I was a witness for the prosecution or the defense, or even what the charge was. I wanted to ask to read their statements before giving mine, so I would have an idea of what to say. Just before I went in to testify someone asked me if she really spit in his face. That at least gave me an idea of the charges, though it didn't change my story any.

Later I saw one of my supervisors putting a guy in a chicken wing or maybe a half nelson. When I accused him of making me witness another fight, he said, "I'm from Gandhiland. I'm nonviolent." I had always assumed that he was from India. Turns out that the other guy's shoulder was dislocated, and he was just trying to help.

Changing the world since 1999

The other day I was invited to a party. I immediately got my dear in the headlights look. As in, "Dear God please get me out of this!" Thankfully my prayer was answered when Ellen said that I would be in Kentuck today. You may not know this about me, but parties are my nemesis. I hate all parties whether they are Halloween, Christmas, or political. You might argue that I am gladly partying today, but there are two different kinds of birthday parties. My family often gets together for a meal and dessert and some times there are dames. The only difference today is that there are presents. I like that kind of birthday party. But when the birthday is elsewhere and with other people, that's when my social anxiety flares up. For not the first time, Katelyn saved my life today.

I say not the first time because she did it fourteen years also. She was born during a difficult time in my life. I already had my prodigal son moment and returned to church after being away for several years and was praying for really the first time in my life. But it was the presence of that newborn baby that really motivated me to change my life. I had never paid much attention to babies in the past. It's likely that I had held one before, but I can't guarantee it. I held broken winged baby girl all the time. She knew nothing of the disaster I had made of the first 26 years of my life. I was starting a new relationship with her and realized that I could start anew with myself as well. After meeting her, I forgave myself and others (not sure which was harder) for all the sins in my past. Saying that she saved my soul is blasphemous, but it's not far from the truth.

All that in just the first few months of her life. She is even more precioum now. Happy birthday Katelyo.

How many licks?

It was 10 or 11 days ago when I pinched my finger tip at work and gave myself a blood blister. Since then every time that I glance at my hand, I think I've got something on my finger. Now while there are others in the family more famous for picking scabs, I can't abide scabs. So there is a part of me that really wants to cut this blister open. My other half wants to wait and see how long it takes to heal on its own. I have never been able to make it to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop, so it surprises me that I've resisted picking it for this long. The only thing that has stayed my hand so far is that it will require a tool of some type, and my laziness has trumped my pickingness.

I would drive 100,000 miles

After I got home from Camp Nana this summer, I watched Betty's odometer obsessively. Over the next 600 miles or so I rarely even looked at the road. I was so dedicated to getting this photo.

And this one.

I took these on the way to RobBob's birthday, and evidently completely lost interest in the story afterwards. It's taken me over a month to finally publish them. Even though I am very late in saying so, I am very proud of Betty and her accomplishment. I promise that at 200,000 miles, I will post in a more timely manner. I expect I'll be wearing my iGlasses then and will instantly post the story.

In a related story, I heard again recently that 94% of drivers consider themselves to be above average drivers. I am finally willing to admit that I am in that other 6%. It isn't just my desire to be in the minority. I pay very little attention to the what's going on around me unless it's heavy traffic. I rarely text while driving, but I will read tweets, take pictures of the dashboard, or perform general internetting.

Judges 21:25

"The other day there was no supervisor for the mailhandlers, everyone did what was right in his own eyes." You may not recognize that translation (I think it's from The Message), but that's the verse that came to mind when the MDO told us we would not have a micromanager one day last week. To my surprise, everyone still did their jobs, for the most part. Turns out that I work with adults. Who knew?

Meatloaf Baseball

With the number one pick in my National League draft I chose Ryan Braun. He wasn't playing up to his previous standards, then he was hurt, and then he was suspended. In the fourth round I picked Jason Motte as my only closer. He missed the entire season and I was unable to acquire another closer and finished with only five saves. That sums up my whole season. I finished in eighth place in the twelve team league.

My three mixed league teams came within half a point of a gold metal hat trick.

I joined a keeper league in its ninth year last season and finished a respectable fifth. This year with Trout, Harper, Stanton, Goldschmidt, Ryan Zimmerman, and Greinke returning, I lost by that half point. I tied the first place team in strikeouts. For those of you who don't speak rotisserie baseball, that means if my pitchers had  gotten 1284 strikeouts instead of 1283 over their 1310.2 innings, I would have won the title. Next year Yasiel Puig will likely replace one of those guys. I could have added CarGo also, but when he was dropped, I had a brain fart just like I did when I bet into Mac's flush.

Last year I won a first year keeper league by 2 points. This year I stretched my margin of victory to 4.5 points. I brought back Cutch, Cabrera, Pedroia, and Bautista and next year will be keeping Crush Davis and maybe Gerrit Cole (he did shut down the Cards today). As you can guess from that lineup I lead the league in runs, homeruns, and rbi's by a large margin. That made up for pitchers' terrible rate stats and k's.

In my auction league I also had an all hitting no pitching team, despite having Price and Lee on my staff. For most of the season I was first in all offensive categories except homeruns. I eventually got some pitching and my early hitting numbers held up despite season ending injuries to Kemp, CarGo, Wright, and Mauer.

In the two leagues I won, I was never in first place until the last two weeks of the season. In the league I lost, I was in first from August 12 until 3 days left in the season.

I don't have the strength to speak on the Cubs season. So in summing up the baseball season I'll just say, "Go Pirates!"

ps. The post is named after the band not the food.