There is an urban legend of a dad who catches his son smoking and forces him to smoke until he gets sick. This is supposed to make the child never want to smoke again. I have done this to myself this weekend. Not with cigarettes, but with food.
Over eating is my default setting, but I think I may have gone above and beyond on Monday. It was one of those days when it seemed like throwing up would actually make me feel better. When I got to work, I wanted to die. Dying would have solved two of my problems. I would no longer feel sick, and I would not have to read The Enchantress.
For the last couple of months, I have been reading the poorly written Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. The story is very repetitive, and I am indifferent to or hate all the main characters. I have continued reading through five books because the premise of the story is interesting, and I like the supporting cast. However, with the surprise twist ending of The Warlock, the series has jumped the shark. It makes me want to renounce pacifism just long enough to punch Michael Scarn in the throat.
I hope that when I die of gluttation, I will lose my memory of Nicholas Flamel.
I heard from a very reliable source that you will lose your memory when you die of starvation. I'm not sure what will happen when you die of gluttation. But I think it really should have happened to me by now.
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest thing you've ever written, and it took me a month to remember to go and read it. I am the worst kind of person.
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