I watched the State of the Union address on Tuesday. That may be a sign of the apocalypse or at least proof that I am old. In the past few years I have become enamored watching the failures of our government. I feel that I now have the political expertise to advice the President. Since I am sure that President Obama reads this blog, the rest of this will be directed to you.
The 2012 election will be here before you know it. Here are some tips to ensure that you get reelected. First you have to get rid of Joe Biden. He really does not bring that much to the table. Replace him with the greatest political mind of this generation, author, talk show host, the pride of New Jersey, Jon Stewart. Having him on the ticket will guarantee the you get the vote of the that very important demographic, fans of Tosh.0 and Futurama. I would even vote for the first time ever. I believe that votes are like roll over phone minutes. So I have five Presidential votes saved up from previous elections. The only problem with this plan is that Stewart might not want to take the demotion from basic cable talk show host to Vice President. My other piece of advise is to hire Aaron Sorkin as your Chief of Staff. He got a Democrat elected President three times. He could even get you elected President of facebook.
Aaron has gotten a Democrat elected President four times not three times. I believe you are only counting the seven seasons of "The West Wing" and not the film, "The American President".
ReplyDeleteAt the very least, Obama ought to hire Aaron as a consultant to his campaign. Aaron's success with the Democratic Presidency is 100%.
If Aaron got Obama elected President of Facebook, Obama would be the first Global leader in history. As everyone know Facebook controls the world.
While Jon Stewart would make an excellent VP, I am not sure he would want to take the pay cut to be the Second In Command. According to Forbes, Stewart made $14,000,000 in 2010 and the VP only makes $227,300 a year. But Stewart as a VP is a great choice and a great idea. Plus, he would have to give up his talk show for four years and that would be a major loss.
Yes, you are old. You are just not as old as I am since I am seven years younger than Jesus.