Make Mine Marvel

A couple of months ago after watching the second of three Marvel movies that came out this year, I realized that I needed to rank all of the Marvel movies.  I could have relied on my memory of these movies, but instead I rewatched them all.  I own about half of these and watched the rest through Netflix and on cable.  I am disappointed in myself for not watching my dvd’s more often.  Of course getting a movie from Netflix every other day fills most of my movie watching needs.  I have included in my commentary how others have rated these movies.  IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes users rate movies on a scale to 10, so I used the same rating system.  I have listed the movies in chronologic order.  If you can’t wait to find out my rankings, you can skip down to the list at the bottom of the post.  As is always the case whenever I make a list, it is subject to change the next time that I watch them.  Also, I have only watched the two most recent movies once each.  I will need to see them again for a more accurate rating.

Howard the Duck (1986) - This movie has all the classic 80’s movie clichés, and Lea Thompson is working a horrible or awesome 80’s do.  It holds up if for nothing else than the nostalgia factor.  Thankfully George Lucas made this in 1986 with a midget in a duck suit instead of Jar Jaring it up now.  Also bonus points for a Penske sighting.  IMDB 4.1, RT 2.5, TP 8.0

The Punisher (1989) - Typical 80's action movie.  Lots of people shoot at and miss one guy while he kills someone with every shot he takes.  Then it ends with the classic enemy of my enemy is my friend until I can double cross him.  IMDB 5.3, RT 3.6, TP 4.9

Captain America (1990) - This was not released in the US.  I didn’t even know that it existed until recently.  Lucky for me Syfy showed the movie several times when the new version of the movie came out.  It is obvious that this movie is very low budget.  It looks like it was made a decade before it was actually made.  The story was nearly as bad as the production value.  IMDB 2.9, RT 2.8, TP 1.8

Fantastic Four (1994) - This movie was never intended to be released, and it was made only because the studio that owned the rights to make a Fantastic Four movie would lose those rights if it did not begin production by a certain date.  Though the budget was small, but the story was better than the movies that followed.  If there had been some big time special effects, it might have hidden some of the holes in the story.  IMDB 3.8, RT 4.6, TP 6.2

Blade (1998) - Blade hits exactly where it aims.  As much blood and violence as you would expect from a vampire movie.  Though he is not as good at killing vampires as Buffy Summers.  IMDB 7.0, RT 5.6,  TP 5.8

X-Men (2000) - One of the advantages of writing about mutants is that you do not have to tell an origin story.  They are just born that way.  This movie shows the first power manifestation of a couple of mutants, then gets to spend the rest of the movie on the story.  Marvel has made many movies since this one, but it is still the best.  IMDB 7.4, RT 7, TP 9.8

Blade II (2002) - Practically the same movie as the first one as the first one except with Ron Pearlman instead of Stephen Dorff.  IMDB 6.6, RT 6, TP 5.6

Spider-Man (2002) - Spider-Man’s origin may be the best story ever told.  “With great power, comes great responsibility.”  It has been nearly 50 years since Stan Lee wrote that, and it still rings as true as it did then.  X-Men has a slight edge here in the rankings due to a higher degree of difficulty.  IMDB 7.4, RT 7.6, TP 9.8

Daredevil (2003) - Daredevil is my favorite character, so I wanted this movie to be great.  The first few times that I saw it, I liked it.  Since then every time that I watch, it gets worse.  I had vowed never to watch it again.  I like the visualization of his radar sense and love the name dropping of several Daredevil creators, cameo appearances by three of them, and iconic scenes from the book.  They changed his dad’s name from Battling Jack to the Devil.  It would have made more sense to use the original origin of his name.  The neighborhood kids called Matt Daredevil because it was the opposite of his character, much like I was called Wild Man in high school.  In the movie he lost his sight running away from his father instead of pushing someone else out of the way of the accident.  The most unforgivable thing about the movie is that they made Daredevil a killer.  In real life when Matt Murdock loses a court case, Daredevil will go out and find more evidence or catch the guy committing another crime.  In this movie Daredevil goes out and kills the criminal.  There is a theme running through the movie of Matt trying to convince himself that he is not a bad guy.  At the end of the movie he spares Fisk’s life stating that he is not the bad guy, even though five minutes earlier he threw Bullseye out a window.  The Director’s Cut of this movie has an additional thirty minutes of footage.  It improves the movie, but all of the flaws of the original movie are still there.  IMDB 5.4, RT 5.2, TP 4.1

X-Men 2 (2003) - I hold the same grudge against this movie that I do against most of Marvel Comics.  It focuses too much on Wolverine.  Despite that it is still a really good movie.  IMDB 7.7, RT 7.4, TP 9.6

Hulk (2003) - I like Ang Lee’s transitions and use of panels, but the comic book feel of the movie does not mesh well with the darker elements of the plot.  The CGI looks goofy in places, though the fight scene with the dogs is a good fight.  The fight at the end of the movie doesn’t work, and it leaves a bad aftertaste following a mostly good movie.  IMDB 5.7, RT 6.2, TP 6.3

The Punisher (2004) - This is a good shoot’em up movie.  The thing that hurts it is that the movie has been made so many times without the Marvel logo at the beginning.  The Brave One and Law Abiding Citizen are better versions of this movie.  IMDB 6.3, RT 4.5, TP 5.3

Spider-Man 2 (2004) - I have always been very hard on this movie because the love story seems forced to me.  But this time, I considered Peter’s complete lack of experience with women as the reason that he could not see that MJ was begging him to want her.  So once I got past that, I really enjoyed the movie.  IMDB 7.6, RT 8.2, TP 9.3

Blade Trinity (2004) - I have never read Blade other than just his guest appearances in other books, so I don’t know if he is as stiff in real life as he is in the movie.  I was glad Ryan Reynolds made his comic book debut as Hannibal King to add some comedy to the movie.  I am not familiar with King, but Reynolds gives a pretty good audition for Deadpool.  Parker Posey and Triple H make good villains.  I do not understand how a character as one dimensional as Blade got three movies and a tv series.  IMDB 5.7, RT 4.5, TP 5.2

Elektra (2005) - When it comes to Daredevil’s exes, I prefer Karen, Natasha, and Milla to Elektra.  However Elektra and Frank Miller’s story about her are well known and had the potential to be a good movie.  But  as I mentioned earlier, it was not a good movie.  For some unknown reason they decided to make a sequel.  She has OCD in the movie.  I don’t know why.  They use flashbacks to tell what happened between this movie and the last one.  But I am sure that anyone unfamiliar with the Hand would not be able to follow it.  The parts of the movie that you could follow, were not worth following.  IMDB 4.8, RT 3.7, TP 3.2

Man-Thing (2005) - This was released as a Syfy original movie.  That pretty well sums up the movie.  The most disappointing part is that the Man-Thing has less than five minutes screen time.  IMDB 4.1, RT 3.6, TP 2.2

Fantastic Four (2005) - This was better than I remembered.  The first thing that comes to mind when this movie is mentioned is the pointless striptease that Alba does.  That scene nearly ruins the movie for me.  I think that the love triangle was a mistake.  Victor von Doom cares nothing about love.  He is only interested in power.  Other than those things the movie is mostly solid.  IMDB 5.7, RT 4.5, TP 6.1

X-Men the Last Stand (2006) - Jean died at the end of the last movie, so this one had to be about Phoenix.  Being replaced by a cosmic entity probably would not have worked in a movie.  Instead they give her a split personality, that has been held prisoner by Xavier for all these years.  Her first act after resurrection is to kill Scott.  Scott and Jean’s love for each other is what defeated the Dark Phoenix in the comics.  Killing Scott eliminates that threat.  Of course this is not explained in the movie.  The other reason for that is to make Wolverine the central character in the movie.  She then kills Xavier for revenge, but also because has the power to recage her.  For the rest of the movie she does nothing but stand behind Magneto until after he is defeated.  Then she destroys everything in the vicinity, for no apparent reason.  Wolverine stabs her in the stomach, and she dies instantly.  Bryan Singer may have had a better story than this in mind when he killed Jean in the last movie, but instead he made Superman Returns, which is even worse than this movie.  The mutant cure is always a good story, and that part worked well.  IMDB 6.9, RT 5.9, TP 3.6

Ghost Rider (2007) - Ghost Rider and his motorcycle looked good.  The caretaker and his horse look even better.  The story and acting are just ok.  This movie suffers because Johnny Blaze, like Blade and Frank Castle, are not interesting characters.  The reason that Spider-Man and Iron Man are good movies is because Peter Parker and Tony Stark are better characters than Spider-Man and Iron Man.  IMDB 5.2, RT 4.3, TP 4.8

Spider-Man 3 (2007) - It was obvious that Rammi knew that this would be his last movie, because he tried to cram every idea he has ever had into the movie.  The fight scenes and CGI are some of Marvel’s best.  It is a shame that the story was so bad.  I mostly liked the Harry story.  He forgives Peter when he learns that Norman’s injuries were caused by his own weapon, even though Harry has a huge scare on his face from Peter using his own weapon against him.  The Brock portion of the Venom story was good, but the all the goofing and dancing while under the symbiote’s influence was terrible.  Rammi thought that the audience was too stupid to tell when this was happening, so he gave Peter emo hair in those scenes.  Why did Dunst sing three songs in the movie?  She is not a bad singer, but not good either.  Rammi changed what I earlier referred to as the best story ever told.  His reason was to fill Parker with enough rage to fuel the symbiote.  That was a huge mistake.  IMDB 6.4, RT 6.2, TP 2.9

Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007) - In the first movie Sue’s powers flicked off to show her in her underwear.  So it is no surprise that when she and Johnny swap powers, they use that as a excuse to burn off all of her clothes.  It did not show any nudity, but that is beside the point.  In both movies, the only way they can think of to use Reed’s powers is to make him look like a goof.  Apparently they don’t know the difference between a nerd and a dork.  The Surfer was ok, but how could they waste a chance to put Galactus on screen?  The movie ends with Silver Surfer fighting a cloud just like Hulk did in his movie. IMDB 5.7, RT 4.8, TP 5.5

Iron Man (2008) - The only criticism that I can think of is that I think Tony should start off as more of a jerk.  The problem is that even when Downey acts arrogant it still comes off as charming.  Iron Man’s greatest weakness is the lameness of his rogues gallery.  Most of his villains are rival businessmen who hire mercenaries to attack Stark.  The one exception being the Mandarin, who I expect to see in the third movie if the franchise continues. IMDB 7.9, RT 7.6, TP 9.3

Incredible Hulk (2008) - Marvel recast this from the original.  I like Bana, but Norton is an upgrade.  William Hurt is a step down from Sam Elliott.  Liv Tyler is not even in the same league as Jennifer Connelly.  I liked the Hulk’s darker skin tones and the fight with Abomination was great.  I am not a fan of Hulk’s origin being tied to the super soldier program.  If that happened in the first movie, I would be ok with it.  Changing it from one movie to the next is an insult to the first movie.  IMDB 7.0, RT 6.1, TP 9.5

Punisher: War Zone (2008) - They skipped the origin in this movie and just had a brief flashback summary of it.  That left more time for killing folks.  Jigsaw was very Tim Burton Joker, and seemed a little out of place with the rest of the movie.  IMDB 6.1, RT 4.3, TP 5.4

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) - Hugh Jackman does a really good job as Wolverine in all the movies.  It would be better if was 5’ 3” and more muscular, but that body does not exist in real life.  I was disappointed in Marvel when they made the comic that revealed Wolverine’s origin.  My disappointment was not in the story, but that the story was told.  I liked the mystery of his past.  When you make a prequel movie, the story has to end in a way that sets up the movies that we have already seen.  They needed Wolverine to forget his past, so they shot him in the head with an adamantium bullet.  They even stated in the movie that the brain would heal, but the memories would not.  Very convenient.  There is of course no explanation for Creed’s memory loss between this movie and the first one.  Since Schreiber is not referred to as Sabertooth, and Tyler Mane was never called Creed, they may just be pretending that they are different people.  The movie ends with Stryker being taken into custody for killing a general.  Yet he is still a top military officer in X-Men 2.  I do not understand why they planned a Deadpool movie when he is so loosely based on the character.  IMDB 6.7, RT 5.1, TP 4.3

Iron Man 2 (2010) - The first movie made very few mistakes.  This movie had higher highs and lower lows.  I did not like the drunken Iron Man scene.  Tony drinks throughout the movies, but I don’t think he would put on the suit while at a party.  Unlike Batman, Stark is comfortable out of costume.  I think he would spend his final birthday in a more carnal way rather than a skeet shoot.  Demon in a Bottle is a well known story about Tony’s alcoholism, but I think this was a poor attempt at putting it on film.  I love Cheadle but would have preferred Howard returning.  The new characters in this movie were all fantastic. IMDB 7.1, RT 6.5, TP 9.4

Kick-Ass (2010) - I went to Marvel’s website to make sure that I had all the movies in the right chronological order.  Kick-Awesome was not on their list of movies.  Granted the book is not set in the Marvel Universe, but I was surprised that they did not claim the movie.  I don’t think that a little girl could be that good a fighter regardless of how well trained.  IMDB 8, RT 7, TP 8.9

Thor (2011) - I wrote a longer review of this back the first time that I saw it.  Normally I would be upset by the complete rewrite of Jane Foster’s character, but I won’t.  It was an excuse to see Natalie Portman.  Nothing wrong with that.  IMDB 7.4, RT 6.7, TP 9.7

X-Men: First Class (2011) - I called this the second best X-movie when I saw it.  Having rewatched X2 since then, I have to drop First Class to third.  IMDB 8.0, RT 7.4, TP 8.5

Captain America: First Avenger (2011) - I was worried that I might have over-ranked this after one viewing.    Now that I've seen it twice, I may have under-ranked it.  IMDB 7.5, RT 6.9, TP 9.4

30. Captain America 1.8
29. Man-Thing 2.2
28. Spider-Man 3 2.9
27. Elektra 3.2
26. X-Men: Last Stand 3.6
25. Daredevil 4.1
24. X-Men Origins: Wolverine 4.3
23. Ghost Rider 4.8
22. The Punisher 1989 4.9
21. Blade Trinity 5.2
20. The Punisher 2004 5.3
19. Punisher: War Zone 5.4
18. Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer 5.5
17. Blade II 5.6
16. Blade 5.8
15. Fantastic Four (2005) 6.1
14. Fantastic Four (1994) 6.2
13. Hulk 6.3
12. Howard the Duck 8.0
11. X-Men: First Class 8.5
10. Kick A 8.9
9. Iron Man 9.3
8. Spider-Man 2 9.3
7. Iron Man 2 9.4
6. Captain America: First Avenger 9.4
5. Incredible Hulk 9.5
4. X-Men 2 9.6
3. Thor 9.7
2. Spider-Man 9.8
1. X-Men 9.8